Canthook

There's an old piano
And they play it hot behind the green door
Don't know what they're doin'
But they laugh a lot behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door

They're running around like chickens with their heads cut off, over on MSNBC. What's Sarah Palin doing? What does this mean?

Everybody is asserting that this move is crazy. She'll never become president, pulling a stunt like this. She'll never have any future in politics at all.

For their own reasons, nobody wants to listen to Sarah Palin. Strangest thing I've ever heard, claim the pundits. But it's not strange at all. All you have to do is to listen to what she says. Sarah Palin isn't your slick Washington politician. She says some dumb things, but she's generally a straight shooter. It seems very reasonable to me that Sarah Palin is telling the truth: that she doesn't want to run for governor again, that she doesn't want to be governor any more, that she doesn't plan on running for President, not in 2012, not ever.

Knocked once, tried to tell them I'd been there
Door slammed, hospitality's thin there
Wond'rin' just what's goin' on in there

I tried watching CNN, but they're busy with Michael Jackson. The only one on MSNBC that's making any sense at all is Chuck Todd, who happens to be the one who figured out the 2008 election when everybody else was headed in every other direction. Chuck Todd has this strange tendency to think clearly instead of following conventional wisdom. It's no wonder that Tim Russert had been grooming him to become his heir apparent, had only Tim lived a few more years so that Chuck could get more seasoning.

Chuck points out that the Palin family isn't particularly wealthy - but they could easily become wealthy in the next year or so. Todd makes about $60,000 as an engineer for BP. He's barely breaking even on his snow machine racing. The family owns a fishing boat, but it only brought in a few thousand last year. Raising five children isn't cheap, especially when you consider that everything, everything, in Alaska is more expensive, due to the shipping.

Saw an eyeball peepin'
Through a smoky cloud behind the green door
When I said Joe sent me
Someone laughed out loud behind the green door
All I want to do is join the happy crowd behind the green door

Sarah Palin could make a small fortune appearing at fund-raisers - except that Alaskan law prohibits that of their governor. Being governor gives her a little prestige, but the money it pays isn't nearly what she could make on the lecture circuit.

And as governor, and a potential candidate for the presidency, she's a sitting duck for criticism. The latest thing is the Vanity Fair article. Before that, it was the David Letterman falderal.

She's got more on her plate than any reasonable person would want. The only reason to remain governor would be if one expected to run for President - but it doesn't look like Barack is having a lot of fun these days, even if Palin could ever be elected. As the apparent front runner, she's drawing fire from every Democrat, from every Republican who has his own ambitions, and from every late night comic. Who needs all that crap?

Midnight, one more night without sleepin'
Watchin' till that mornin' comes creepin'
Green door, what's that secret you're keepin'

Michael Steele, head of the Republican National Committee, wrote me a letter Monday morning. "I want you to know that the Republican Party is not dead and we are not going away," he wrote, and the underlines on those words are his. Methinks he doth protest too much. It's looking pretty dire for the GOP, and it's about time to request that the last person to leave the party, turn out the lights. He also makes a boldfaced request: "I'm asking you to please not turn your back on us now." If the party is not dead and isn't going away, why would it be necessary to make a plea like this? Even after the 1964 election, the GOP sounded determined, not pathetic.

Somehow, though, I'm reminded of Ronald Reagan's comments in 1962: "I didn't leave the Democratic Party. It left me." The Republican Party in recent years has become vastly different than the Republican Party that I grew up with. Republicans fiercely defended the US Constitution, including all ten amendments of the Bill of Rights. Today, they defend the second amendment and hate the other nine. Traditionally, Republicans fought to sustain the tried and true. Today, they want to try wacko new ideas. Traditionally, Republicans have been in favor of a strong national defense, because that's how you avoid war. Today, they want to fritter away our military strength by fighting without need, destroying our preparedness. Traditionally, Republicans has been the friend of honest farmers, fishermen, professionals, and small businessmen. Today, it's the friend of crooks that run major corporations.

There's an old piano
And they're playin' hot behind the green door
Don't know what they're doin'
But they laugh a lot behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door

Sarah Palin has a book contract. She'll go on the road, dragging her kids with her, and a lot of people will buy hardcover books in order to go to book signings, and meet the family. She'll appear at fundraisers for GOP candidates, and pocket some handsome honoraria. She'd be popular at fundamentalist religious rallies, as well.

She's trained as a journalist. Roger Ailes offered Mike Huckabee a television show of his own, but Sarah Palin is far more popular than Huck, and would command a significantly higher salary - and if he doesn't step up with enough loot, syndicators would be glad to package a Palin show. She probably wouldn't match Oprah's ratings, but it's certainly reasonable to expect her to match Tyra Banks or Rachel Ray.

It's not that her political views are so popular, so much as the fact that she's exceedingly personable. She's a superstar.

Saw an eyeball peepin'
Through a smoky cloud behind the green door
When I said Joe sent me
Someone laughed out loud behind the green door
All I want to do is join the happy crowd behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door

Sarah Palin, with her five kids, has much of the appeal of Jon and Kate. By renouncing public office for herself, she can become the point man for the Republican party. God knows, the GOP is looking for something to coalesce around.

I'm not sure that the GOP can survive as a major party if it continues to espouse the politics of the John Birch Society, and that's what Sarah Palin represents. They can survive through the 2012 election, though, and perhaps even through the 2016 election - and that's plenty of time for Sarah Palin to earn enough money to keep her family flush for the next three generations.

In 1977, Dr. Harry Dimond asserted to me that if you can't understand what's going on, you should follow the money. I can't say that Dimond's Law has always worked - but it's been rare that it's failed.

Maybe people should do the unthinkable, and take Sarah Palin at her word. She knows she's been Quayled, and she can't ever be President. She's taken a look at what Barack Obama is having to put up with, and she's decided that she doesn't really want to be president, anyway. But she would like to be rich, and she's like to play a part in shaping this country's future. She doesn't need to do that from behind the Governor's desk - and she's decided to put an end to all that hassle.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Chuck Todd - David Letterman - Dimond's Law - fund-raisers - journalist - Michael Steele - Mike Huckabee - resignation - Ronald Reagan - Sarah Palin - TV show - Vanity Fair - wealth