We continue to hear people demanding that Barack Obama produce his original birth certificate.

In addition to the birth certificate posted on the web, there are the stories that appeared in the Honululu Advertiser on Aug. 13 , 1961, and in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin the following day, stating ""Mr. and Mrs. Barack H. Obama, 6085 Kalanianaole Highway, son, Aug. 4."

What They Don't Say

The real Barack Obama died in infancy. The guy who is living in the White House is actually Elvis Presley's twin brother, Jesse Garon Presley.

Jesse knew someday that he was going to run for President someday, and because both the Honolulu Star-Bulletin and the Honolulu Advertiser got their information exclusively from the state board of health, he bribed a clerk at the state office to provide that false information to the newspapers.

He also bribed the folks at Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital (now called Kapi'olani Medical Center for Women & Children) to claim he was born there, at least until HIPPA came along, making it illegal for the hospital to continue revealing that information.

The Biggest Secret Of All

The biggest secret of all, of course, is that Obama/Garon is not an American at all, but an alien. Yep, he comes from Triton, the moon of Neptune. They sold one of their children to Vernon and Gladys Presley in Tennessee in order to get a few dollars, and after their ship was damaged in Roswell, NM in 1947, they struggled to survive, finally selling Jesse Garon to Stanley and Barack Obama in 1961 when the last of their money ran out. Our president only looks black; he'd be the same color as Elvis if not for the injuries to his skin during the fire that destroyed their ship.

You want proof that he's from Triton? That's easy enough. He's cool as a cucumber, never gets riled, and only "sweats" by consciously excreting liquid through his skin when he notices other people suffering from the heat.

I just wish he'd admit it, so we could stop talking about it and he could get on with running the country.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
- Barack Obama - birth certificate - Honolulu Advertiser - Honolulu Star-Bulletin - Jesse Garon Presley - Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital - Neptune - Roswell, New Mexico - Triton