It's not really Memorial Day. It's Decoration Day, a day on which we decorate the graves of those who fought and died in the Civil War. And it's not really today; it's the 30th.

But there aren't any members of the Grand Army of the Republic marching in the parade any more, and although for decades, the VFW tried to co-opt the day for the War To End All Wars by selling red poppies, I haven't anyone wearing a red poppy in years.

So let's admit that it's not Decoration Day any more; it's the start of the Summer Grilling Season, and the beginning of the Small Town Parade Season.

Children Love Parades

Children love parades for a number of reasons, one of which being that they are strange and wonderful things. They used to love parades because politicians would ride in convertibles, with supporters walking alongside, throwing penny candy to the crowd. It wasn't just the politicians, either. Sometimes, it would be some of the commercial entries in the parade that did that.

Big city folks don't understand small town parades. They have expensive floats decorated entirely with flowers at the Rose Parade, and floating balloons of Felix the cat and Superman at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and the Shriners Parade at the Three Rivers Festival has grown men driving around little race cars and other such toys that they're obviously too old for, but it's a little different at a small town parade.

At a small town parade, you start off with the sheriff's department, riding in cars. This is a political entry, because the sheriff is an elective office, and it's an important elective office, because anyone who gets elected sheriff for more than two terms is likely to retire a multimillionaire. It's not entirely graft, either. He gets so much per day per prisoner to feed the inmates, and instead of giving them decent food, he can give them outdated baloney on stale bread and canned vegetables that were more than a little woody when they went into the can. He gets to pocket the money that's left over, and it doesn't take long for the money to add up.

High School Bands

High school bands, and junior high bands, are probably the most professional entries in the parade. They won't be very good on Decoration Day, because they've been out of practice, so they will have trouble keeping in step, but by the time they've appeared in a dozen parades over the summer, they are pretty good, and outright excellent by football season.

Less charitable things can be said for the baton corps. These are little girls, most of them preschoolers, who can barely manipulate a baton. much less twirl one. The older ones will toss the baton in the air and actually catch it half the time, but please don't think that I'm critical of the kids. They're like Jack Benny, who played the violin as well as he was capable of. Everyone roots for the little girls because although they are dressed in shapeless leotards and strappy black patent leather shoes. they are cute anyhow. These aren't Jon Benet Ramsey clones, dressed up to appeal to pedophiles; they definitely look like little girls. And every so often one of them catches sight of their dad, and they beam at each other.

Dads don't get to be Dads any more. If he gets laid off and doesn't have money to pay the full amount of support, Momma pulls him into court at taxpayer expense to punish him, but if he drives 90 miles one-way to pick her up for visitation some Friday night, and there's nobody home, he has no real recourse but to drive another 90 miles back home, alone and frustrated. It's not much fun being a divorced dad, nor do I imagine it's much fun for their kids.

The Commercial Entries

The commercial entries are something you never see at big city parades. Oh, you might see the local car dealers furnishing convertibles for beauty pageant entries to ride in, but I'm talking about the John Deere dealer driving his newest model tractors, the agricultural chemical applier driving his "floater", the ready-mix operator driving his cement trucks, and the rural electric cooperative driving their line trucks in the parade.

And depending on which small town it is, their are other commercial displays. In one small town I lived in, the local honey-dipper drove his tank truck in the parade every year, proud as punch of it. Many small towns, the funeral home drives a hearse. One Indiana funeral home near an Amish settlement drives a horse-drawn hearse in every parade. I know of a piano and organ dealer who bought a railroad hearse, put it on rubber tires, and would drive it through area parades, the owner playing an organ from the back platform.

And, of course, there are the emergency vehicles. The fire trucks for all the area volunteer fire departments, the ambulances, the sheriff's posse, riding their magnificent horses.

The Military Units

I use military unit "loosely." The Boy Scouts are, in fact, chartered by the US Government, and they get to use military bases for their camporees. That's not true of the Girl Scouts, though. There will usually be units from the VFW, the American Legion, the Reserves, the National Guard, the fire and water rescue units, the K-9 corps.

There will usually be a unit of kids riding decorated bicycles, and kids displaying their groomed and outfitted pets. Some of the dogs seem to not enjoy long parades on hot asphalt, but thankfully, small town parades tend to be short. Every year, there's a kid or two carrying a fish bowl with a couple of goldfish in it. They usually look like their arms are awfully tired, and their t-shirts are wet from the slopping water. I have to wonder what the fish think of the adventure.

Some of the churches have units. One of them, I remember, consisted of clowns. They went around to nursing homes to try to cheer people up. Given the number of people that are terrified of clowns, I'm not sure that's a good idea. And there will be 4-H clubs and FFA clubs, with actual floats built atop hay wagons, usually pulled by garden tractors.

I Love A Parade

I said earlier that little kids love parades, because they are strange and wonderful things, and older people have their own reasons for loving parades. I can't say that I find them overly thrilling, myself. I always liked to see fathers beaming to see their kids in the parade, and kids beaming to see their parents see them. And I always made a point to salute the soldiers, even when we were engaged in wars that I personally opposed. Which is to say, all of them. Someone who puts himself in harm's way to protect and defend others deserves my respect. Someone who puts himself out there in order to attack others? That's another matter. But wars aren't fought by the ones who start them.

This Decoration Day, think about the 700,000 people who died in the Civil War, at a time when our population was only 31,400,000. That's nearly the same, percentage-wise, as 7 million people dying in a war today. No wonder parades have dropped off, as people have forgotten....

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- Civil War - Decoration Day - Memorial Day - parades