Henry's Law


The failure of the newspaper industry bothers me, because I am a former newspaper editor and publisher. In fact, one of the first businesses I had was a newspaper. It taught me many skills that later would prove valuable in inventing other small businesses.

Later on, after Watergate happened, there were a lot of people talking about "investigative journalism", like it was something new. New? All journalism is investigative. If something is general knowledge, it's not news.

Investigative Journalism

One of Blondie's favorite movies is "All The President's Men", and she is amazed that Woodward and Bernstein were able to get people to spill the story. That, too, doesn't amaze me. Most people have dozens of stories that they're dying to tell; all you have to do is to ask them - and pay close attention to the answers, so you know what to ask next.


Learning not to "mind my own beeswax" was one of those important skills I learned. It's cheaper and faster to learn from others' experience than to have to make all those mistakes yourself!

At one point, I investigated starting a business selling items at arts and crafts fairs, perhaps using my photographic skills. My first show, I failed to pique many peoples' interest, and I wandered over to talk to Henry, who was operating a "spin art" booth. He had squeeze bottles of different colored inks, and his customers, mostly kids, would release a drop at a time onto spinning cards, creating exciting explosions of color. His costs were almost nil, but it took a lot of customers at 50c each to make much money - and as the evening progressed, there were fewer and fewer kids there.

Reproductions

I suggested that many of the booths might benefit by having desk-size reproductions printed that they could sell for a few bucks, since there weren't many people buying paintings at hundreds of dollars each. No, he said, he'd tried that. It kills the sales of the big paintings, he said, and besides, you can't compete with calendars for inexpensive art.

It turned out that Henry had done just about everything at the arts and crafts show, and some things that weren't there, such as building a highly imaginative miniature golf course I'd once admired. Nobody in the show was making any money, he said, except for the pottery people.

"Including you?" I asked. He nodded. He was the one who organized the fair, so he had to be there anyway, and he had space to spare and the equipment, so it was better than being there doing nothing Some of the painters were there for the advertising value - they made a living from commissioned work, not from the generic stuff you show at fairs - but the pottery was the only stuff that was profitable from show sales.

Why's That?

"Why's that?" I asked. "Utility," he said. Plates, cups, and flower pots were useful as well as being artistic and inexpensive, so people would buy it. Potters can produce a lot of items in a little time, and clay is cheap, so inexpensive items are profitable to produce. People can't do it themselves because they don't have kilns. And it breaks, so people aren't drowning in it. Everything else at the show is a dustcatcher.

I've read a lot of books on business, and interviewed a lot of businessmen over the years - at one time, I published a business magazine - and yet Henry managed to distill more business wisdom in a few minutes than many people could tell you in a year.

Consider restaurants. That's the most popular business for people to start, and yet most restaurants last less than 2 years. It's not that the restaurant necessarily fails, but profit margins are slim, and hours are long. It understandable why owners decide it's simply not worth it; they sell out so they can cut back to 40 hours a week.

When you see someone who's stayed in the business for a long time, they've figured out an angle. They aren't burger joints. They offer something that's difficult to make at home, something that they can produce with relatively little input in time and materials. Ribs qualifies, as does fried chicken or pho.

Other Businesses

Other businesses follow the same pattern. A pack-and-ship store owner in Columbus told me that everybody looks at the cost of labor and wonders how pack-and-ship can be very profitable. The real money, he says, is in renting out private mail boxes.

A car dealer told me, years ago, that there's not much money in new car sales. He made most of his profits in doing automotive service and repair. His brother laughed at that comment, and said the only reason to sell new cars is to get good trade-ins. The real money is in used cars, especially if you rehab the cars before you resell them.

The economy is looking better. If you've ever wanted to be your own boss - and that may be the only sane thing these days - now is the time to do it. Pay close attention to Henry's Law in selecting your business. There's no point in fighting an uphill battle by opening yet another retail business.

Just so you know I know, there is also a chemical Henry's Law. The composition of a gas is in proportion to the partial pressures of its components.

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Investigative Reporter

Doghouse Riley, on his own blog Bats:left Throws:right, says that "investigative reporter" is Happy Talk Newspeak for "someone who covers stories we might get complaints about". This has the added benefit--or, perhaps, the only benefit--that they're free to sensationalize to their hearts' content, making for damn good teasers.

He's talking about Karen Hensel. Not the soap movie actress, but the WISH-TV newsreader. I tend to use the term "newsreader" for someone whose broadcasts come from the studio. Doghouse, who is even more cynical and ascerbic than I am (imagine that!), seems to prefer the term "teleprompter reader". Hey, how's a viewer to know how much a broadcaster has done on the story?

To be fair to Ms. Hensel, she's won 5 Emmys, 2 Peabodys, and a bunch of other awards. That seems to suggest (but not prove) that she actually engages in journalism, not just broadcasting.

I used to live in Indianapolis, but I that's been a long time ago. think I think I remember Karen Hensel from WANE-TV in Fort Wayne. WANE and WISH have both LIN Broadcasting stations for decades.

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