My brother- and sister-in-law weren't very happy when Blondie decided to marry me. My first wife had died, and I was disabled, and if Blondie was going to marry this late in life, she surely could have come up with someone better than me.

Sis had four kids, and three of them had wonderful husbands or wives, with great houses in upscale neighborhoods. The fourth, the youngest, had jettisoned her husband, but she had always been sort of a flibber-de-gibbet, and it appeared that she was about to marry a well-off guy. Brother had two kids, and not only had he married into a high-prestige family, but his son had already married well, and his daughter was engaged.

Things didn't go well with her family. I didn't want a big wedding, nor did Blondie, but when Sis insisted, Blondie agreed that we'd marry in Sis's church.

They Don't Like Traditional Music

Except that they didn't allow the traditional wedding processional or recessional to be played in their church. Those were wicked songs, according to their preacher. And indeed, those songs were originally used in operas where they were associated with rampant sexuality and/or the devil. On the other hand, that was a long time ago, and if you eliminate "Here comes the bride" from a traditional church wedding, it's not a traditional church wedding.

And there were other issues to be resolved. Eventually, Blondie got tired of the endless arguments from her sister, and suggested that we just elope, so we did.

The District Justice asked permission to give us a non-secular ceremony, and we nodded assent. He then proceeded to tell us about Adam and Eve, blissfully ignorant of the fact that Eve was Adam's second wife. I knew that. Blondie knew that. We traded glances, and it was all Blondie could do to avoid laughing.

But doing that really annoyed Bro. Sis accused Blondie of eloping just to avoid having Bro escort her down the aisle. Huh? Both Blondie and I were flabber-ghasted by that one.

And when the bad feelings continued, Blondie simply stopped taking phone calls that always seemed to end up acrimonious. When Blondie got the diagnosis of vascular dementia, though, she felt compelled to call Sis and tell her the news.

A Very Nice House Call

Flibber-de-gibbet came down to visit us. She was always Blondie's favorite niece, and was the one that seemed nicest in my limited exposure to the in-laws. It seems that she's on her third marriage now, it's turned out to be a wonderful marriage, and she's about the only one who is currently married. The other three of Sis's kids are all divorced, and in all three cases, not willingly.

Bro's son is divorced, too. And you know, when I met all those people, I couldn't imagine what they saw in each other. I don't pretend to understand others' marriages, so I assumed there much be something going on I didn't understand, but it turns out, I was right. That's sad to see.

I shouldn't be calling her flibber-de-gibbet, because she never struck me as being lightheaded. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders, and good values, and have those character traits I admire most about Blondie. You know how you can meet someone, and just instantly you realize you've loved them all your life? I hold Flibber-de-gibbet very dear.

A Not So Nice Phone Call

A day or two after Flibber-de-gibbet came to visit, Blondie got calls from Sis and from Bro. Sis was nice, and I have to admit that Sis always tries to be nice, but she doesn't always succeed, even with her own kids. And then Bro called, and he apparently was trying to be conciliatory initially, but it only took about 3 words for his resolve to disappear. "I shouldn't have to call you," he told Blondie, "You should call me."

That was before Christmas, and Blondie is still highly upset by the call. She had a hard time defending herself against her family before, and especially against Bro, but now with the vascular dementia, her memory is shot, and her cognitive powers are pretty limited, and in a battle of wits, she's an unarmed man. I used to tease her mercilessly, and she thought it great fun, but over the past five years, I have had to tone it back considerably in order to keep her from feeling hurt.

Divorce As A Happy Event

So I lie here in bed as I write this, thinking about Sis and Bro, so deflated that their kids' marriages have fallen apart. I want to tell them that getting fired was one of the best career moves I ever made, and that staying in an unhappy marriage is one of the worst life moves is a bad move. Flibber has it right. She had a bad marriage, and then a mediocre one, and now she's in an extremely fulfilling one. You live, and learn, and move on. If her brother and sisters would pay close attention to Flibber, and follow her example, they could end up as blessed as she is, but they view her as a failure, so they aren't even paying any attention to her.

And I could make a phone call, and point that out, but you know, I really don't want to, not after what Bro's phone call did to Blondie. God gave some of us enemies. The rest of us, he inflicted family upon.

You're right, Bro. It's not your place to call Blondie, it's hers to call you. Please wait until she calls. My shoulder is too soggy already.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Adam and Lilith - church music - district justice - divorce - elope - enemies - marriage - vascular dementia - wedding